Okay, so let’s all be real with each other for a minute and admit that we have fictional crushes. My very first fictional crush—and I don’t think I’ve confessed this since Kindergarten, mind you—was Bugs Bunny. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Now, it’s slightly embarrassing, but I obviously wasn’t thinking about LOVE in the real sense (or even sexuality) as a 5-year-old. I just thought the cartoon character was funny and cute and always managed to get away from the notorious Elmer Fudd.
As I became older, I still had cartoon crushes, but they were at least human cartoons. Okay, actually, I think I did kinda have a crush on Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life. (Don’t judge. Fine, you CAN, but just don’t tell me.) And, of course, I grew up with Disney, so I crushed on almost every prince or hero in the cartoon movies.
Finally, when I was nearing junior high age and reading tons and tons of books on my own, I began developing crushes on fictional literary characters. Since then, I have collected quite a string of fictional boyfriends and will continue to add to my list as I discover new books. However, the guest on my blog today has…I dunno…like that something extra special about him. Good thing I happen to know his creator, Robin Woods, quite well, because I can ask her about him as much as I want.
But today, I have the bad boy vampire prince all to myself, and he’s here to answer my questions.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my #1 fictional boyfriend, Tyran! *clapping my hands, making internal cat calls, and fanning myself* I’ll let Tyran speak for himself while I ask him questions, and then you can decide if he’ll be your next crush, too. Here we go:
Me: Hi, Tyran. Or…should I say Prince Tyran? Thank you so much for letting me interview you on my blog today.
Tyran: Whatever you prefer. (He waves his hand dismissively, but I swear he winks at me.) It is my pleasure to be interviewed by you.
Me: So, let’s cut to the chase. (I gulp nervously.) How long have you been a vampire?
Tyran: My entire existence; I was born a vampire.
Me: Do sparkly vampires, like Edward Cullen, actually exist? (I have to hold back my smirk.)
Tyran: (He rolls his eyes and flicks his wrist as if batting away the question.) Cliché. Next.
Me: (I want to press him about the former question for a real answer, but there’s something in the way he’s watching me that tells me it’s best to move on.) What’s the best thing about being a vampire?
Me: (His answers are so clipped, but I need to remain calm, cool, and collected. I move to the next question on my list.) What’s the worst thing about being a vampire?
Tyran: There is nothing bad about being me. (He raises an eyebrow, and I suck in a breath. I’m nervous all over again, like when I asked out my old junior high crush for the Sadie Hawkins dance freshman year of high school.)
Me: Do you like being a prince?
Tyran: (Examining his nails and looking bored.) Nothing else would do now, would it?
Me: I suppose not. (I nod a little too emphatically.) Do you have any special abilities?
Tyran: Strength, speed, mind-control, and several other things I would be happy to show you.
Me: (Is it hot in here or is it just me? I find myself reaching up to the back of my neck and rubbing it as if that will steady me somehow. Then I clear my throat after what seems like 100 years, but is closer to 10 seconds.) If you wanted to take someone like me—er…a woman on a date, how would you plan it? Do you plan ahead like that?
Tyran: My planning would be meticulous. I like to familiarize myself with whomever I have interest in. Especially if it were with the likes of you. (The way he says the last sentence sounds very intimate. My throat is suddenly dry and I have to take a sip from my water while he’s looking me up and down.)
Me: Do you have a favorite book? (I hope and pray this is a safe question. But then again, nothing is safe about Tyran.)
Tyran: I prefer the classics. (He laughs and winks at me.) The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli or maybe something by Sun Tsu. (He pauses and leans forward, slowly running his finger over my knuckles. I find myself locked in his stare, completely mesmerized by the ridiculously blue eyes looking at me. I hope I’m not drooling, because that’s the only thing my body can manage at this point.)
‘Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.’ Though, it is often an advantage to know your poetry. (He seems to turn the full force of his blue eyes on me as he takes my hand. He’s reciting—freaking RECITING, from memory—poetry to me, like he’s trying to woo me. WHO. DOES. THAT? Well…Tyran, that’s who.)
‘By night, Love, tie your heart to mine, and the two
Together in their sleep will defeat the darkness
Like a double drum in the forest, pounding
Against the thick wall of wet leaves.’
Me: (Was that double entendre? How am I supposed to take all this? Reluctantly, I take my hand back and try to keep my demeanor professional. Hopefully he doesn’t hear the slight tremor in my voice. Then again, he’s supposed to have better hearing than a Border Collie, so he probably knows. Lord, I hope he can’t read minds—I can’t remember now if that was one of his “special abilities” or otherwise.) That’s nice. Who is it by?
Tyran: Pablo Neruda (He’s looking at the hand I pulled from him, a slight frown on his face.)
Me: Do you think you’ll ever get married? Or that you’ll find someone with whom you could spend the rest of your immortal life?
Tyran: (His head snaps up. Well…that got his attention.) I would never deprive myself of any experience.
Me: (I wasn’t expecting that. Very interesting…hmm…) Okay, Prin—I mean, Tyran. Final question. Does the thought of immortality ever scare you?
Tyran: (A leisurely grin spread across his face as he rakes his eyes up and down me. He’s taking in every inch, and I want to both hide behind my chair and lean forward to kiss him. My heartbeat is a little faster than normal.) Never. I like being able to take my time in all things.
Me: (I think I’ve just died and gone to Man—Vampire—Candy Heaven. It takes me a few seconds to recover from that last answer. Tyran is somehow in possession of my hand again, and I think he’s starting to ask me if I’ve ever gone to France—where he currently resides. I pretend to not hear his question and instead start to wrap up the interview.) I—well—thank you, Tyran, for the interview and for your time today. I’m sure my readers are very interested in knowing more about you.
Tyran: And what about you, Tamar? (He’s practically cooing, and my name sounds like a loaded question that’s already been answered for me, instead of the usual harshness of pronunciation by Starbucks baristas who royally screw up my name.)
Me: Oh, I enjoyed this interview very much as well. (I’m stammering now, so Tyran’s going to take over from this point.)
Tyran: Good. We can discuss more over dinner.
Well…guess I have a dinner date with Tyran. Though, I don’t think he really eats, but maybe he’ll have a glass of wine. 😉
In the meantime, to close out this interview, I have a profile for Tyran below. Enjoy the eye candy, and leave a comment—or a question you might have for Tyran—if you’d like. Below the picture/profile are links to Robin’s Watcher Series Pinterest boards. Make sure you check those out—they’re super fun. 🙂
PINTEREST BOARDS FOR THE WATCHER SERIES